Slow Caring

Who would have thought web design would have brought me to this place ? Though my research into JavaScript of all things,  I have become aware of   a  "Slow Movement", born out of a need for connection,  which  is    taking root around the world  - see for example : http://www.slowmovement.com/. 


I had no idea !


It strikes  me : if  there is anything I have learned from the last 18 years of being with Linda,where any action can have the most devastating consequences,  it is about the value of "slow" caring :


Slow caring is where you  come from a place  where you are incredibly centered  in yourself,  no matter what is happening on the outside. It is like taking a breath and in the breath allowing your thought to perceive what is going on, before taking action.


Your slow action is empowering,  pro-active, not reactive.


Your aim in slow caring is to enable a more positive outcome and a more conscious action or interaction,  for  the person .


It is like giving yourself a heartbeat or a space filled with peace and thoughtfulness, so that you can flow with the energy, not against it.


When you find yourself just reacting to events , so dangerous in Severe ME,  then you are not thinking clearly, and you are probably not  breathing properly either.


Slow caring is allowing yourself to flow with what is needed from you effortlessly; so essential in Severe ME where you are dealing with multiple symptoms and acute hyper-sensitivities; it does not take much to push the person into even deeper levels of illness. You have to be so careful, all the time.


Slow caring is flowing with the "Chi"rather than against it - not  pushing the river, flowing,  working with the other person's energy, no matter how tiny,  so that you do not get in the way of helping them.


In Gestalt en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gestalt_psychology you learn to see the wholeness of a situation. It is that wholeness which allows you to be proactive, stay in control, be empowered and empowering , instead of blocking or getting things wrong, by acting hurriedly. 


Slow caring requires and enables you to be peaceful in the middle of whatever chaos is going on outside. It requires time to know yourself and release any fear that is other than being present to the person, so that you can have the best outcome possible for both of you.


The key is simple. It is  smiling.  


When you smile it makes you happier and the person happier and safer. 


If you just take a moment to breathe and to smile and to focus inwards and outwards and reach out , then that inner peace from within you will transfer through your movements and bring such  happiness to your relationship; the last 18 years are a shiny testament to that !