A long slow torture unto death


Who am I?
I am head pain raw and hurting
Hammering deep inside
Where nothing can touch me.
Who am I?
I am never-ending paralysis
Numbing, invading, constricting
Taking all thought and action whenever I choose
Who am I?
I am pins and needles
Vast unimaginably bold and painful
Flowing screaming irritating through inert immobile limbs
Who am I?
I am brain fog
Blank, demented nothing
Blanketing out memory, imagination, feeling, thought, emptying life
Who am I?
I am noise sensitivity
Piercing ears, torturing mind, shaking body
Powerfully Summoning paralysis
I bring isolation and desolation
Who am  I ?
I am Light sensitivity
Painfully bright, piercing and sharp
Shutting down beauty and all things visible
Who am I?
I am pain
Burning throbbing itching hurting
Remorselessly assaulting constantly  and unremittingly
Who am I ?
I am muscle fatigue
Collapsing, irritating, unreliable, pain filled weakness
I cause failure to function , falls and  immobility
Who am I?
I am sleep disturbance
I bring  torment with nightmares, sleeplessness then sleep-fulness
So deep you cannot escape me
Who am I?
I am gut pain,
burning, swelling, irritable,
I hurt and distress at my whim, impacting  everything even your breathing
Who am I ?
I am food sensitivity
I deny you pleasure and choice even to the point of starvation and death
Who am I?
I am Multiple chemical sensitivity
Poisoning, nauseating, tormenting
Denying you access to normality
Who am I?
I am  numbness
Stealing sensation, ordinary feeling and reaction,
Dulling the world , creating danger to heat and touch as I go
Who am I?
I am Spasm
I shake at my own will in my own way at my  own pleasure
Rendering body and mind unable to function
Who am I ?
I am Post - exertional fatigue
Causing deterioration hours and days after you have exerted yourself innocently
I  damage, exhaust, stop you in your tracks, make you more ill like on a roller coaster ride
Who am I ?
I am malaise
You will never escape me for I lurk within you constantly undermining you
Forcing you into bed, forcing you into  isolation and inability
Who am I ?
My name is Myalgic encephalomyelitis
Though I have been hidden in a sea of denial, downplay and negation
Presented as fatigue , laziness, malingering , fear of work and wrong thought
Who am I?
I am your worst nightmare
Waiting round the corner to assault you and steal your life  too,
Only then will you realise and it will be too late to do anything
That I am so much more than tiredness
I am a long slow torture unto death.

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