How to look at the sky
Yesterday I learned how to look at the same patch of sky.
My wife was so ill that nothing whatsoever was possible apart from holding her, in her pain, all day long. There were no other options.
Part of the day was spent on our garden bench. It was very warm, but we were in the shade. It is very quiet here in the deep country where we live.
You don't think about the miles of golden sandy beaches just 4 miles away - that my wife has never seen and the folk swimming , loving it there, eating their ice-creams, devouring the ice-cold six packs, the pine woods above the dunes, how blue and sparkling the sea must be.
After a while you don't think about what you could be doing instead; for it is so hard, don't you find, to sit still, to be peaceful and centered ?
After a while though you find yourself noticing the wisps of cloud way up high, the fascinating swifts in flight, the dryness of the garden on this hot day, a spider on its web, companion in stillness; then how you suddenly rest into the smell of the lavender, which you reach over pick and crumble for her aching head.
After a while there is only the immensity of your relationship , vast and boundless as the sky, precious; you realize that when all is said and done, that this is what you will remember .
My wife was so ill that nothing whatsoever was possible apart from holding her, in her pain, all day long. There were no other options.
Part of the day was spent on our garden bench. It was very warm, but we were in the shade. It is very quiet here in the deep country where we live.
You don't think about the miles of golden sandy beaches just 4 miles away - that my wife has never seen and the folk swimming , loving it there, eating their ice-creams, devouring the ice-cold six packs, the pine woods above the dunes, how blue and sparkling the sea must be.
After a while you don't think about what you could be doing instead; for it is so hard, don't you find, to sit still, to be peaceful and centered ?
After a while though you find yourself noticing the wisps of cloud way up high, the fascinating swifts in flight, the dryness of the garden on this hot day, a spider on its web, companion in stillness; then how you suddenly rest into the smell of the lavender, which you reach over pick and crumble for her aching head.
After a while there is only the immensity of your relationship , vast and boundless as the sky, precious; you realize that when all is said and done, that this is what you will remember .
Very beautiful post, Greg.
ReplyDeleteBless you both for continuing to campaign despite the severity of her illness and pain. I too have a wonderful, caring husband like Greg who has put his life on hold for many years in order to care for me.
ReplyDeleteMaybe, just maybe, the discovery of the xmrv virus in M.E. sufferers will be the turning point and the psychiatrists will finally have to let go of the research and treatment funding. Hil