Worn ..

Went to a senior - level meeting yesterday, at the local PCT.  After 17 years of living on carer benefit, my clothes feel a bit worn, my hair not neatly trimmed ,  my sandals out of place.

Being swished to the top floor, past  PA's, PC's , curved desks, busy open plan partitions,  was to glide through  the world I used to know; now it's all the kitchen, the bedroom , toilet and garden, where we sit in isolation,  for years on end.

My voice is an effort.  If asked I would have said I feel tired and angry.  I make my tiny contribution, speaking up, I hope , for the severely affected. Making every word count.

Yes; there's an impact.

It's no game. There's no ego. This is me ,  fighting for my love and our life.

Out of place here in this expensive 21st century HQ. A bit of a shabby carer .


  1. I want to say something but I can't find the words. I can't find the words that will be suitable for the magnitude of what you are going through. I have M.E. but only moderately. This is hard enough and does not come close to your situation. I can only begin to imagine how tough it is for you and your wife. My heart goes out to both of you.


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