Amos RIP

Can grief be this huge ? I had no idea. Tears are falling onto my knees as I type, the screen blurry. How hard it was to get up this early morning and know that our beloved Amos is dead.

As we both held him , through the long hours of his dying last night , I seethed inside with rage. Linda never was able to take Amos for a walk; not once in the entire eleven years he lived with us. Linda never knew those places only a dog can show you. The wintry dark nights, with things banging in the wind, the early morning sun on a window pane, the mist rising over the fields, the byways and pathways behind Tesco.

The golden sands, only four miles away; in the forthcoming  film "Voices from the Shadows", about the lives of people with Severe ME;  Amos lives forever, on that beach with me.

No more will he take me walking.

No more will he cuddle his nose into Linda's paralyzed hand when she awakes.

Amos knows more than anyone about Severe ME. In his own way he payed the price,but  he was uniquely loved, for in all those eleven years of raging, horrible sickness, he was always by our side; every moment of every day and night.

What an utter emptiness and silence his death leaves.He broke the isolation . How will we cope ?

I cannot imagine how much  more  ill Linda is going to be today, as a result of holding and comforting  Amos. She was in complete and  total physical agony all night.

I will cuddle and hold her; knowing that in in the middle of us,  Amos lies as always;  alive in spirit. Love, so powerful,  never dies.

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