The Bullshit

Back screaming agony
Muscles expanding and contracting
Rippling in my diaphragm
Causing irritation and distress
Throbbing angry stressed pain that consumes
And batters continually
Increasing while I sleep
Torturing me with its persistence
Will not go away
Will not calm down
Will not  rest
Will not find a tolerable level
Digs at  me
Kicks me
Screams in my middle
Stopping me from easy movement
Stopping me from sitting up
Stopping me from functioning
Where did it come from?
When will it leave?
Why does it hurt me so continually?
So very tired of all the bullshit
And denial of my very real
Physical illness
And complete physical  dysfunction.


  1. I'm so sorry. I'm currently sitting in my car while my 17 year old daughter does our grocery shopping. Able to leave home only with massive amounts of pain meds & stimulents (ritalin), and yet after just a short time on my feet, my back & ribs are in agony. My doctor says this is osteochondroitis, inflamation of the tissues surrounding the ribs. I don't care what its called - its bullshit. I sit here hoping the dose of meds I just took will be enough so I can get up & go in the store for just a few minutes, but every muscle in my back is in spasm, and it hurts to even breathe.
    So I hear you, I know your pain, I understand.
    I hope for you that the worst has passed for now - mine ebbs & flows in waves, some days terrible, some days tolerable (barely).
    Best wishes -
    Ash in Virginia, USA
    ME 20 years +/r


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