Trust is all we have left

"Hold me, I am burning with pain."

I hold her, I cannot feel her, she is so lost in the agony; completely, down to every single millimetre, in her deepest depths , ill.

We hold each other, alone. Three things I have learned :

1.To the extent that you are not prepared to compromise, to that extent you suffer acute isolation and rejection.

2.You cannot afford to trust anyone who says they know what they are doing.

3.No one knows what they are doing, when it comes to Severe ME.

At best you hope that they will be humble enough to admit it, that they enter into it with you and help you work something out possibly, in diminutive steps.

One thing I know : There is no hope currently for people with Severe ME.

This I will never do though:

Give up.

My anger is too deep , my faith too ragged , too battle-hardened , my love much too strong for that; like a banner , the Breakthrough Prayer is unfurled tonight and every Saturday night , sweeping ME into the sea :

Things are very bad, trust is all we have left now.


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