A demented outlaw from my own bed


I live in a cracked world
Dislocated
Damaged
Assaulted
And violated
By ordinary things
Noise is an insult too far
I cannot bear it
It does not just hurt me
on the outside
It invades me
It dismembers me
It jellifies me
On the inside
Where no one can see
Or know
The true horror of my experience
The sheer extent of the
Vibrating damage.
I am screaming in torment
My muscles belong to no one
Anymore
Certainly not to me
They are beyond my control
Long gone
Into an abyss
Of dismembering
Horror
Indescribable
In its violence
Far too easy
To say
pull yourself together
And to blame me
For my incapacity
To bear it
Even for a moment longer
Than to
Understand the tremor
Of despair
The complete and
Overwhelming
Destruction
Of my grasp
On ordinary
Reality
So long gone
Now
That I am an
Alien
In my own
Home
A demented
Outlaw from my own bed
Separated
By an invisible barrier
Of violence
That assaults
Only me
And leaves my body
Non compliant
With my mind
And broken
In a heap
Of writhing
Agony.

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