The Wall

One of the ways I cope - survive as a carer, is through ongoing learning. But have I overdone it this time ? 

Right now  I have a Life Coaching course to complete - the deadline looms, I have also started a demanding 6 week Creative Programming Course - yesterday, half way through,  the first assignment was  I am working on the revised version of my Severe ME book.

Yesterday was  a day of screaming torment,  for Linda.

As the deadline came and went I was a mess. I could not string together a single line of code. It was an awful place to be - on top of everything else  I badly wanted to give up. But Linda was able to perceive  that I was coming from a victim , not a true authentic position. Her wisdom, courage and encouragement pushed me on and over that concrete wall I had hit.

Incredibly I  was able to sit down and write some basic  code that graphically, dynamically plays one of my songs with swirling, multicoloured words and interactive mouse movements : I am attaching a screenshot. So okay I missed the deadline. That's okay...the precious , invaluable learning lay in breaking through my fears - the helpless "I Can't" that had me reduced to this  frozen heap.

Linda knew I can !


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