Care for the Carer

The traditional image of carers is that they are tired worn down - living an unimaginably dull overloaded life; the imagery often used online and in the media  seems to back this up. Caring is hard, it is exhausting, it can be isolating – that is true, however it has much to teach ; I have found it to be an extraordinarily fulfilling pathway to truth, an adventure in love on all possible levels.

As I wrote a few years ago, as a carer : "You will become greater than you ever thought possible, because you really do have to reflect upon what is important to you in your life
and how to be empowered."


There are many times however I find myself hanging on by the slenderest of threads , not knowing how to bear another second. But we always come through !!

I am alive, growing, learning, learning more and more how to be real.

This is what I have learned :
  1. Look after yourself
  2. Be kind and affirm who you are.
  3. Be loving, especially to yourself.
  4. Learn all you can.
  5. Remain focused on the person- who they are and do not forget this even when illness seems to deny it.
  6. See the person but recognise their illness reality.
  7. Take space for yourself to heal your own wounds and losses.
  8. Keep fit - my bike is a godsend to me.
  9. Keep healthy by eating well - incredibly important - and exercising regularly if you can.
  10. Do things you like to do.
  11. Be together.
  12. Do not let systems or people be divisive or come between you.
  13. Do not “clientise” your loved one.
  14. Find ways of connecting as your essential selves.
  15. Express your emotions safely.
  16. Know all you know, in all you do.


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