Paralysed in poetry and images





Paralysis seems to capture my thoughts
And lasso them into an invisible plastic bubble
That floats formless in my mind.
I know inside what I want to say.
I can see you before me vaguely through dark staring eyes
Or sense your presence when lids are locked tight
Yet the words will not marshal themselves together
And I cannot make them comply with my will
So that they can come marching down to my mouth
They will not spill out into the world
To make coherent sense.
The lips lie fallow, unused.
They are numb.
They will not move.
The breath is shallow
Not enough breath then to give sound to the voice?
But no
It is more than this.
The thoughts, though perfect, whole and complete
Are stuck, as if in
Suspended animation.
There is no path for them to the outside world.
It has mysteriously vanished.
And you cannot know then
How sad I am
How distressed I am
To be like this
Yet again
How much I need your contact
But cannot bear your physical presence
How amazingly interesting I am inside
Trapped
In this invisible
Tortured
Empty space
And how lonely
It is here
Stuck in a world that is completely inaccessible
No matter how near
Or easy it is for you
To access.

Comments

  1. The creativity and eloquence transcends the sadness and other terrors of very servers ME.You have such a connection to each other as a result sadly of living as you both have to.When everything is stripped to the bare bone when one has severe ME,the true beauty of a relationship,between husband and wife,and sufferer and carer shines through.Healthy couples can never realise this awesome yet terrible experience.Again we come back to what Jesus experienced on the cross.God bless you both.Amazing work again Greg.As you know all this has a purpose.You are an inspiration to both carers and sufferers,each of you.

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