Curious

 

HOW CURIOUS

That when a well person, who lives in the ordinary world, asks you about how you are and you, at great effort, write back and tell them, that almost inevitably, it seems, they do not reply.

The other puzzling thing they do is say: “hope you are well”.

Have they missed the many, many years of devastating destruction and horrendous illness and symptom experience that means you can never say you are well?

Wellness is a far distant memory.

These two things have happened to us so often, down all these decades of severe illness and isolation, that I am beginning to wonder if it might be some kind of phenomena.

It seems to be left to those who are the most sick to share kindness, empathy and support to others who are suffering.

I wonder has anyone else experienced it, the curious, or should I say, the rude silence or the inappropriate superficial, general, throwaway query?

I can’t figure it out.

Why ask in the first place, if you don’t really want to know?

Maybe it’s just that people don’t know how to reply. What on earth can you say anyway, the situation is so awful?

Yet, if only they had some inkling, what an incredible difference it makes, to feel heard.

And how extraordinarily negating it is, given the context, to say nothing.