The beating of the Heart
A mystic once remarked that
"True love is no game for the
fainthearted and the weak; it is born of strength and understanding" ( Meher Baba); experience has taught me how true his words are.
Caring, especially over decades, takes unheard-of strength and resolve; all your courage is required, daily, not to give in to despair.
I am deeply struck by what Willo and Maureen wrote here about people with ME and "the beating" the heart takes", through all the horrendous issues that surround this dreadful, mainly ignored and still untreated disease.
For example my wife describes her isolation as being buried down a pit, behind a glass wall, surrounded by five foot of barbed wire, unable to breath, eat anything, without it causing agony, paralysed by the slightest sound or movement.
That is the context in which you, as a carer, tread so carefully. Not carefully enough though, yesterday morning I got it very wrong, my unaware greeting,"Good morning", instantly triggering a paralysis that destroyed the whole day.
This is the context in which you either can walk away in anger, mostly at yourself, or in hurt - an instinctive reaction I have found, or you can stay and reach out, with all the strength and understanding you may be able to muster in that disastrous moment to the other in great suffering, who cannot move or respond.
This is the microcosm in which you live, everything in the environment, including you, a major threat.
This is how your days are spent.
And the years pass.
The beating the heart takes, at your own inadequacy, your inability to change things, your struggling for words to say anything that might just help, threatens to tear you apart. But it doesn't.
For you find the other is your healer, your source of strength, is your constant inspiration. In her love, you are soaring, maybe higher than anyone has ever dared to go.
Free to fly.
"True love is no game for the
Caring, especially over decades, takes unheard-of strength and resolve; all your courage is required, daily, not to give in to despair.
I am deeply struck by what Willo and Maureen wrote here about people with ME and "the beating" the heart takes", through all the horrendous issues that surround this dreadful, mainly ignored and still untreated disease.
For example my wife describes her isolation as being buried down a pit, behind a glass wall, surrounded by five foot of barbed wire, unable to breath, eat anything, without it causing agony, paralysed by the slightest sound or movement.
That is the context in which you, as a carer, tread so carefully. Not carefully enough though, yesterday morning I got it very wrong, my unaware greeting,"Good morning", instantly triggering a paralysis that destroyed the whole day.
This is the context in which you either can walk away in anger, mostly at yourself, or in hurt - an instinctive reaction I have found, or you can stay and reach out, with all the strength and understanding you may be able to muster in that disastrous moment to the other in great suffering, who cannot move or respond.
This is the microcosm in which you live, everything in the environment, including you, a major threat.
This is how your days are spent.
And the years pass.
The beating the heart takes, at your own inadequacy, your inability to change things, your struggling for words to say anything that might just help, threatens to tear you apart. But it doesn't.
For you find the other is your healer, your source of strength, is your constant inspiration. In her love, you are soaring, maybe higher than anyone has ever dared to go.
Free to fly.
Sending love and strength to you both, and hoping for kinder days soon. xx
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