Five Non- negotiable Rules for Caring



FIVE NON-NEGOTIABLE RULES WHEN CARING FOR SOMEONE IN SEVERE PAIN WITH PROFOUND HYPERSENSITIVITIES

Every noise, every movement, every action that you make, matters more than you will ever be able to fully understand, never forget this.
Always strive to provide the very best care that you can. Learn as much as you can about the person’s symptoms, about how severe each symptom is and, in particular, about how much worse the person’s experience can so easily become, if you are not careful enough, moment by moment.
When you help someone who is unable to communicate easily, in severe pain with complex hypersensitivities, then the following, really, is non-negotiable, it is that serious:
1. Do exactly as you are asked, at the exact time that you are asked to do it, in the exact way that you are asked to do it. It is alarmingly easy to get this wrong!
2. Do maintain a strong awareness which enables you to see clearly under pressure and understand any difficulties the person might be having with the way you are interacting. Again, easier said than done. In practice, without sufficient awareness, one can so easily take it personally, slip into the hopeless, destructive role of Victim, Persecutor, Rescuer.
3. Do not blame the person, if you get it wrong or if they are unable to tolerate your presence at any given moment. Stand back, wait until any interaction or intervention is tolerable or acceptable to them.
4. Do not presume that because something seems quick, simple and easy to do that the person you want to help can equally tolerate it. The simplest activity like walking past someone, opening or closing a cupboard, reaching out to grab something, can trigger a literal explosion of cognitive dysfunction, confusion, exhaustion , weakness and massively increased pain, paralysis.
There are so many aspects to an action that you may not notice or be aware of yourself, which will be painfully obvious to the person and may be impacting them negatively.
5. Do not be complacent about the impact of your presence. Understand that the environment, itself and you, yourself, within that environment are constantly, invisibly impacting the person, even if you are not noticing it.
Every action, movement, sound, change, that you make can be a positive, neutral or negative experience for the person. Never lose sight of this. As we stressed at the beginning of this article, keep developing your awareness as much as you can, it is crucial.
Learn and grow together.
Greg and Linda Crowhurst
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