When you can't

6am. My wife gasping,  she is so much agony;  she cannot take any more, she cries.


The pain, paralysis, numbness, noise, light, touch sensitivity,profound  multi-system dysfunction  has lasted for over 18 years. Change, such as it is, moves at a glacial pace. Professionals take all the time in the world, months,  to get back to us. All I could do was dig  deep  ,  to offer what crumb of comfort I could could.


Later , on my bike, for that is how I cope myself, I crest a hill and see white waves breaking . Here's the thing, I tell  myself. We have always taught that the three most important decisions anyone with ME has to make, at anyone time are :


When you CAN
When you CAN'T
When you MIGHT 


..But what  happens when all that's left  is 


CAN'T ?


What  then ?

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